What is it that men go through in their lives between 40 and 55 years of age, if not male menopause?
Diamond, author of renowned books like ‘The Whole Man Program’; ‘The Irritable Male Syndrome’; ‘Surviving Male Menopause’ and many more, says that male menopause is for real. He opines that men and women, at this age, are more alike than different from each other in his book ‘Midlife, Male Menopause and Male Depression’.
There are no easy answers, mind you. The term itself has not been coined correctly, says Anjali Thakur, homemaker from Chandigarh, “Whatever it is, it is not called 'menopause' because there is no such event as 'menses' in a man's life.”
What do They Mean by Male Menopause
“Male Menopause begins with some hormonal and physiological changes that occur in all men, sometimes as early as 35 or as late as 65 -years- and affect all aspects of a man's life,” says Diamond. It is a physical condition with psychological, interpersonal, social, and spiritual dimensions.
How to Tell a Man is Undergoing Menopause
Have you ever noticed any kind of behavioral or psychological change in yourself, to alarm you on menopause? If not, here are few early signs to look for in a man nearing menopause.
• Loss of short term memory
• Physical change, like expansion of the belt line and sleep disturbances
• Emotional change, which includes irritability, anxiety, and depression
• Sexual change, which is sometimes the most critical and difficult for a man to talk about, includes lowering of sexual desire, erection problems, or even difficulties with ejaculation
Case study from Diamond’s book
In his book, Diamond talks about a 42-year-old man who divorced his wife to marry a woman 10 years younger to him, looking forward to starting a new life with a new wife and a new job in a new area.
After twelve years, this marriage became a nightmare for him. This is what his life became: the man was now 35 pounds overweight and felt ‘fat and old’; his career was stalled; he varied between passive withdrawal and angry outburst; he had difficulty in sleeping and would get up four or five times a night to urinate; and his sex life had greatly diminished and he admitted to having erection problems.
He said that for the first time in his life, he was finding reasons not to have sex, even when his young wife was interested. There was constant conflict at his home and it seemed like his wife was critical of everything that he did - which made him feel more like an unruly kids rather than a husband or father.
‘Typical Midlife Crisis’ or is There More to it?
As another famous book writer Theresa Crenshaw, president, Amer Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, puts it: "Men experience a 'light' version of menopause - physically, that is - called viropause. Their hormones and neuropeptides diminish, albeit less abruptly. Their bodies sag and change shape. Characteristic medical conditions like enlarged prostate develop.
“Sexual functioning is often compromised by hormonal imbalance, disease, medications, mind, or mood. Their stamina and temperament alter as well. Emotionally, like their female counterparts, men can have repercussions from viropause of catastrophic magnitude - including severe depression and suicide. Yet often they are less well equipped to deal with these extremes than women."
She experiences - Post Menopausal Zest...He experiences - Post Menopausal Rest
It has been observed that ‘men at mid-life’ come to value love and intimacy more. Post Menopausal Rest involves more than just healing. It is called the ‘Wisdom of the Elder’. Sometimes post-menopausal men are valued as ‘Peace Makers’, ‘Mentors of Youth’ and even ‘Spirit Guides’.
Male Menopause is therefore a call for the return of the men, not as the conquering heroes, but as humble elders who are strong enough to be equal partners to women, are ready to take responsibility for their health and their life, and are ready to give something back in return to women, children, and the society.
Healthy Treatments for Healthy Midlife
• Exercise, like bike riding
• A low fat diet
• Going to a doctor
• Getting support for other health issues
• Active involvement in a men's group
• Natural herbs like yohimbe and saw palmetto
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