Been noticing a rather abrupt change in your child’s behavior lately? Be on a vigil, for such a change might hint towards an ongoing sexual abuse.
Educating Your Children
Since the problem at hand is so shamelessly rampant, it is of utmost importance to talk about it with your children. This will prepare them to deal with the crisis, if the need be. Ensure that they:
• Say a strict ‘no’ to anybody who tries to touch them in a way that makes them uneasy
• Report the abuse immediately as it occurs
• Know their body and its parts well and can distinguish between a good and a bad touch
• Seek parents’ permission before accompanying a third person to his residence or any other place
• Never accept eatables or any other gifts from strangers
• Abstain from playing alone
• Do not open the door to strangers or reveal that they are alone, when parents are away
Having far reaching consequences, this social sickness is far more common than most of us presume. According to some surveys, at least 1 out of 5 women and 1 out of 10 men recall being sexually abused at some time during their childhood.
Defining Child Sexual Abuse
Child sexual abuse is defined as an act where in a child is made to fondle with his own or an adult’s genitals, it may involve actual penetration of a child’s vagina or anus by an adult or a mouth to genital contact between the two.
It may also assume other forms such as getting a child to view or make obscene material or show one’s own genitals.
Can My Child Become Victim of Sexual Harassment?
Of course! Irrespective of the sex of your child. However, females are more susceptible to sexual abuse. According to the findings of an American survey, about 15 to 38 percent of females were sexually abused at some time during their childhood and adolescence while the same figure for males were about 10 percent.
As to whom do the parents have to safeguard their children against, the answer might startle you. It is usually the most trusted friend or relative who is the miscreant. Often, the abuser is a figure whom you and your child have immense trust upon.
The First Hints of Undergoing Sexual Abuse
The abusers almost always threaten the child not to breathe a word about their secret, so the act often goes unnoticed for years. Parents must therefore be on a continuous guard to spot any unexplained fears or behaviors displayed by their children. In most cases, however, you can only hope that your child talks about the abuse to you or someone else.
The first hints dropped by your child about the problem may be hazy or vague. Grab them as an opportunity to delve upon the matter. The following symptoms may hint towards a bigger problem:
• Inexplicable fear of a person or place
• An uncalled-for response when asked about being harassed by someone
• Undue fear of being physically examined
• Over use or black or red color in drawings
• Sudden awareness of one’s own sexual organs/acts/words
• Getting other children to perform sexual acts
Dealing with a Sexually Abused Child
The first and the foremost requirements are to stay calm and believe your children, for children seldom lie about such things. If you commit the mistake of ignoring the first report of sexual abuse, you can be assured that the child will not feel free to even make an attempt of reporting such an event in future. It may leave them torn and mentally devastated for the rest of their lives.
The assurance of your trust must be complemented with lots of love and assurance that the incidence was not his fault and you can together solve the problem. Getting mad at this point of time, even if the abuser is a close relative, can confuse the child and make him think that the anger is directed at him and it is ‘he’ who is at fault. Praise him for having the courage to report the event.
The next logical step would be to check how far the damage goes, both physically and mentally. For this, you could seek professional help. Simultaneously, make sure that the matter is reported to the concerned authorities so that the miscreant doesn’t harm any other child. People who indulge into acts of sexual abuse rarely resort to only one means of satisfying their sexual desires.
Seeking Professional Help
Depending upon the severity of the case, your child might be prescribed a suitable counseling or group therapy. Remember, it is never too early or too late to seek professional help. It is not just the child but even his family members require counseling as they play a vital role in helping him cope with the associated emotional trauma.
Group therapy can be immensely helpful in making the sexually abused victims realize that they are not the only ones who have undergone such an experience and thus help in rebuilding their self-confidence. It also helps them in understanding that they cannot be singled out as being sexually abused simply by looking at them.
The worst mistake parents can make is believing that it can never happen to your child; it’s more prudent to prepare yourself and your children against this gruesome reality.
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