Developing Emotional Intelligence

What is Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) has been defined as the ability of an individual to recognize, understand, use and influence his own emotions as well as that of the others in a constructive manner so that he is able to build and manage relationships more successfully. EQ is thus of great help in achieving goals, whether at work or home.

The Four Characteristics of EQ
• Self-awareness: People who score high on EQ are extremely self-aware. They understand what reactions their emotions are bound to generate in a given situation. In other words, these are people who recognize what thoughts and behaviors a certain situation can stimulate within them and are hence in a better position to prevent their emotions from ruling them.

• Self Management: Because of being highly self aware, those with a high EQ do not allow lower emotions such as anger, disappointment, jealousy, etc., to rule their actions or decision making. They also accept change without much resistance and are able to say ‘no’ when required.

• Social Awareness: Also known as social skills, people with a high EQ understand others’ emotions and anxieties better. They are empathetic towards others and are capable of picking up behavioral cues. They are excellent at understanding the power dynamics taking place in a group and hence often emerge as effective team leaders.

• Relationship Management: Such people can communicate clearly, and are capable of inducing zeal and motivation, managing disagreements, and leading a team effectively. These qualities coupled with their empathetic nature make them extremely popular with friends, relatives and peers.

Ways of Improving Your EI
Here is the best part about EQ: Unlike the other forms of intelligence, EQ can be learned and developed. One’s EQ is primarily determined by his/her genes and the environment in which he/she has been brought-up. So, a change is possible, but such a change requires prolonged practice and is definitely not a day’s job.

Here are a few tips that can come handy in your endeavor to enhance your EQ:
1. You could start by doing a self evaluation so as to become aware of your weaknesses. Be honest to yourself and try to accept the fact that you are not Ms./Mr. Perfect. Now identify the areas that need improvement.

An objective self evaluation is the best means to get an insight into how you generally behave with people. During self evaluation ask yourself questions like: Do you practice humility and give others a just chance to display their potential? Do you accept your faults and apologize? Do you indulge into stereotyping?

2. Stress is the order of the day. Try not to be overwhelmed by it. Make a deliberate effort to be in control of your emotions when a stressful situation arises. Learn to identify how you generally react to stress and then try devising ways and means to soothe yourself so as not to lose your focus or calm.

3. Make an attempt to be aware of your emotions and also how you react to them. Try to identify the factors that trigger these emotional outbursts in you. When you connect with your core emotions, it becomes easier to predict their outcomes, whether physical or emotional.

4. Before taking a decision, try putting yourself into the shoes of those who are going to be affected by it. If you are empathetic towards others they are bound to react with the same feeling of concern and compassion for you. But, if you must make a harsh decision, try to think of ways and means to mitigate its ill effects.

5. Last but not the least, Keep up your sense of humor. Laughter is indeed the best medicine. You can skim your way through difficulties if you can laugh and make others laugh. Humor also reduces chances of a potential conflict in times of crises. It helps in relieving stress and keeping the environment light.

Plato once said, “All learning has an emotional base.” Although ‘intelligence’, in the conventional sense, does play a significant role in bringing about success in our lives, emotional intelligence is imperative in sustaining it. Hence one kind of intelligence is meaningless without the other.