Pregnancy Loss: How Friends Can Help
by Simmy Mishra - June 26, 2011
Loss of the unborn casts a grief so difficult to bear on the parents that it takes considerable effort from family and friends to help them steer out of the situation. Support and consolation needs to be constantly reinforced until the couple, primarily the mother, resumes to normal lifestyle with stability.
Human grief on occasions of loss manifests differently with time to stay embedded in the heart of the wounded. The journey of metamorphosis of the pain from denial to guilt, anger, depression, and eventually hope will be incomplete if friends do not intervene to support.
1. Friends need to constantly hold the fort of acceptance against all the denials of the unfortunate event by the mother. As friends, we need to remind them gradually of their loss and make them accept the event. With acceptance alone, peace shall prevail.
2. Help your friend understand that life is about ups and downs and there will be unfortunate events at all times around us testing our strength and our weaknesses.
3. Miscarriages can be tougher on yet-to-be parents. The first conception is always an emotionally involving affair than a second or consecutive baby.
Reasoning out some good in all the upset and grief may at times help the parents find some solace, such as some birth defect or anomaly in the unborn. The only consolation here is the good in alleviating the child of sufferings and leading a challenging life.
4. Many parents find guilt a medium to suffer the grief. Some activity or event that could have possibly triggered the misconception; close friends should help them in forgiving themselves rather than can choosing to carry the burden forever.
Forgetting may seem impossible, but forgiving shall bring hope and peace to the parents and help them move on.
5. Many parents experience anger and apathy. The lose hope, belief and faith in their own will, determination and even God. We need to confront their anger and bring them to a realization that it is nobody’s fault. It’s our compelling responsibility to help them accept and reconcile with destiny.
6. Being a friend, we need to help the parents, especially the mother who can be more prone to depression and incredulity, move on. Change their environment, add some colour and activity in their life to help ease the pain and recover from the grief. Distract them. Try bringing a new agenda to their life or daily activities so little time is left to spend on thinking and brooding on the mishaps.
Be that shoulder to cry on, give time and listen to your friend when they want to share. You will provide the most comforting support already.
Last edited by Silky Chandvani on June 26, 2011 - 13:27 | Write to author: Simmy Mishra |
