Child Sexual Abuse

Michael Jackson, the super singing sensation who has rocked the world for many generations was charged of sexual abuse way back in 1995. The trial was called as ‘the trial of the century.' The celebrity was charged for numerous counts of child molestation. Other celebrities who have been accused of sexual abuse are George Michael, Ty Herndon, the Dallas priest Rudolph Kos and many more. Now and again we hear several accounts of child sexual abuse. What exactly is sexual abuse, lets find out.

What is Sexual Abuse?

Sexual abuse is when the abuse involves a 'sexual component' such as incest or rape. Certain verbal behaviors are also termed as abuse like talking sexual things, pressuring to show gentials etc. The long term consequences of such sexual acts are profound. The impact of such incident on child development has been questioned by researchers and it was found that people who are sexually abused are more likely to develop substance abuse.

Whenever one talk about the term ‘sexual abuse’ it’s generally thought as a crime against female but that’s not true. Both male and females are prone to it and this act can lead an impression on the child’s mind forever. They are not only deprived of their childhood but can also develop various psychological problems.

After reading such incidents we as a parent wonder how safe our children are. If as a parent we take extra care than may be the children wouldn’t have to go through such horrifying incidents. In U.S only nearly 10% of boys and 25% of girls are sexually abused, according to researchers.

Surprisingly the data shows that most of the victims had been abused by their family members, relatives, family friends or some one they already knew. So, it’s like getting stabbed on the back. One doesn’t know whom to believe and whom not to, so keeping eye and ear open can help a lot.

Symptoms shown by the abused child

As such incidents take place at the time when the victim and the abuser are alone so it’s not possible to track the abuse. Children after such incident generally gets shocked and secondly feeling of shame encompasses them because of which they don’t tell their parents about the abuse. But the incident is their in their concious and sub-concious mind and comes out through various acts like

• Having nightmares and getting up shouting, frightened or drenched in prespitation

• Are depressed

• Prefer solitude

• Beat siblings or others without any reason or on slight provocation

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms can be seen

• Attempt to hurt themselves and on extreme conditions can commit suicide

• Sleeping problem

• Anxiety

• Low self esteem

• Feeling of estrangement

• Poor body image

• Will make up drawing which shows sexual acts

It’s found that PTSD is commonly associated with abuse.

Basic Guidelines for parents

If parents would follow some basic guidelines than may be the incidents could be brought down.

• If you are sending your child for sleepover than have the necessary information regarding the family.

• And if you don’t want them to go then just make up your own programme which could act as an excuse and may be the child don’t even want to go, like tell them that you are going for their favorite movie that weekend or going out for some game show the child likes.

• Let your children know the difference between good and bad touch.

• If you have to go out and have somebody to look after your child than make sure that the person is well known to you and even after that don’t ever force your children to obey each and every word the person or babysitter tell them to do.

• Avoid leaving your small children with strangers or even relatives or friends for too long. And always keep a tab on your child. Dont have blind faith on others.

• Have friendly relation with child and let them know that they have all right to say NO if someone tries to take them somewhere: touches them or makes them feel scared or uncomfortable.

• Don’t ever send your child alone anywhere; he can always go along with you or one of his friends.

Common sense and sharp eye can really help in saving your child from mentally sick people.

What to do when you come to know that your child is sexually abused?

The first and foremost thing is don’t loose your control or blame yourself for what happened to your child. Listen to them and make them know that it’s not his or her fault. Sometimes parents don’t take their children’s word seriously and think he is just lying or making up things and thus the child becomes victim again and again for months or years and will not tell you again about it.

Once you come to know about abuse take a medical examination and psychological help for the child. Remember he or she can recover if you provide enough love, care and support to them. If the child is abused by close relative or family friends than its normal that they will hesitate in telling, fearing that may be you won’t believe them, but when they do tell let them know how brave you think of them. Reassure that such kind of incident will never happen again.

After comforting child now it’s you who need help. Talking to a counselor and taking therapy helps because as a parent you will get emotionally disturbed and than it's you only who has to support child.