Dealing with Teen Violence

An article in Chicago Tribune “When teen dating turns violent” gives a shocking insight into the thinking of teens about dating violence. The recent incident about Chris Brown’s alleged attack on Rihanna is being discussed as a simple matter at schools.

Why have teens started accepting date violence so easily? Themedguru.com looks into the psychological effects of dating violence...

Teen dating violence has become a common phenomenon lately. Studies show that every one in three teenagers faces dating violence but most of these go unrecorded. The teenagers in the age group of 16 to 24 have the highest rate of dating violence victims according to Bureau of Justice Special Report Intimate Partner Violence, May2000.

What is dating violence?

Dating violence is obsessive or over controlling behavior, a partner shows towards a girlfriend/ boyfriend. Dating violence can be emotional, sexual abuse or physical abuse. Many teenagers do not report dating violence until there is physical abuse.

Mental abuse is a more common form of dating violence and has a longer lasting effect on the victim. Even verbal abuse is considered as a dating violence.

Why Dating Violence?

The main reason for teenagers falling victims of dating violence is ignorance and inexperience. Most of the teenagers hardly know the person enough before they agree to go out on a date. The feeling of independence from their parents sometimes leads the teenagers making very wrong decisions. Also the same independence can manifest itself as a show of violence on the partner. Sometimes peer pressure is the main reason for the violence a person inflicts on their boyfriends or girlfriends.

The self-image also affects the teen dating violence. Young men believe that they have the ability and the right to dominate their date into doing whatever they want. Many teenagers feel they own their partner and can demand intimacy from them. Some boys even feel that they would not be able to demand any respect from their partners if they are more caring towards their girlfriends.

Teenage girls sometimes believe that they deserve the behavior that their partners are subjecting them to. The possessiveness or extreme jealousy of a boy towards a girl would not be seen as a threat but as a romantic trait in the boy. Abuse might also be considered normal because most of the girls in the age group would be subjected to the same kind of abuse.

How to stop Dating Violence?

Teenagers need to work on their self-confidence first. Once teenagers are more confident about their own personalities and know that they deserve respect and love, they will find the courage to stand up against any kind of violence.

Double dating is a good idea for the first few times, until the partners know each other better. Consider making one of the parents aware of the entire date plan and also make sure they know when to expect you back home.

Steer clear of any alcohol or drugs or at least be aware of the lack of full awareness due to these substances. Be in control of a situation and be assertive. Instincts are mostly right... trust them.

There are a number of support lines for helping teenagers in case of dating violence. Some of these numbers are:

Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999
Crisis Help Line: 1-800-233-4357
National Youth Crisis Line: 1-800-448-4663
Child Help USA, National Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800 422-4453)