How to cope with the jealousy of the first-born

With the new baby coming in the family and taking up most of the time and attention of his parents, it is but natural for the first-born to feel jealous and neglected. Though it’s important to manage the whole situation calmly, the ultimate thing is to protect the new baby from any physical injury. At the same time it’s important to ensure that the older child does not feel neglected.

Here are tips on how to cope with the jealously of the first-born:

• Try to avoid any drastic changes in the life of the older child. If you have to send the child to the kindergarten or to stay with a guardian, do not connect these factors with the arrival of a new baby. Do this 3-4 months before the baby’s birth.

• Do not abandon the rituals to which the older child is accustomed. If you have always helped him take bath and get ready, or read him a book, keep doing so.

• Point out all the advantages of being the eldest.

• Do not decrease attention to the older child. Even if at the given moment he is distracting you wit trifles, do not utter reproaches.

• Find out at least half an hour a day to be alone with him, so that he feels you belong only to him.

• Involve the older child in helping with the baby. Even if all he does is bring a fresh diaper, he will feel pleased and wanted.

• Tell him how much you love him. Praise him and give him small presents for no reason.

• Initially, refrain from expressing your delight with the new baby in the presence of the older one.

• Avoid drawing comparisons between your child and the baby. Your older child can interpret this as criticism.

• Do not upbraid him for being jealous.

• Teach your older child to interact with the baby. Seeing the younger one smiling and responding will give a happy feeling to the older.