Is Your Marriage on the Rocks? Do a Reality Check

Stress can be both good and bad for a marriage, but mostly the implications of stress and tension on a marriage can be havocking. When you start feeling things are not working out in your marriage, take time together to sit back and reflect on what actually went wrong. This has to be done in a positive way so that both the partners don’t create more stress for one another. Calmly, you need to see what all is not working in your marriage.

Research has shown that women are more likely to get affected physically by marital stress than men. Shabbily handled marital stress can have negative effects on the functioning of cardiovascular system, endocrine and immune systemdefine.

The physical symptoms of marital stress include insomnia, poor appetite and frequent illnesses. The emotional symptoms can range from frequent arguments, irritation to depressiondefine and tension.

Stress can crop up in a marriage because of various reasons. The most common reason can be expectation. Expecting too much from each other can take a toll on any relationship. A good marriage can be brought down in two years by focussing on what you are not getting out of the marriage and how your partner has failed to live up to your expectations.

Marital stress is different from other types of stress because it gobbles up your most important source of support and makes it your primary stress. It can ruin a marriage if the couple take out their stress on each other. Since your spouse is the most easily available target, so you are bound to take out all your frustration on him/her.

To minimize stress, you first need to identify the sources of your stress. Tense muscles can be relaxed if you indulge in a bit of light hearted humour or laughter. Try not to crib about your past mistakes as it can hamper the present state of your relationship.

The following points can be helpful in tackling marital stress:

1.Become more forgiving as far as you and your partner are concerned.

2.It is important to be clear about what you expect from your partner and what your partner expects of you.

3.Try spending quality time with each other as it promotes a healthy relationship.

4.Take time to de-stress and try engaging in a meaningful conversation with your partner.

One of the other common causes of marital discord is money. Most of the time ego issues creep in, which can hamper the relationship. In such a case you need to discuss short and long term financial goals. Effective communication and coming to a compatible solution can work in such a situation.

On the whole, one must focus on the positives in the marriage and build on them rather than dwelling on the negative aspects. Bringing up old hurts does not work in any way and this only worsens matters.

Remember that every marital problem does not necessarily have to be solved alone. There is professional counselling available which is beneficial in most of the cases such as domestic violence, depression, habitual drinking etc. Its important to make your marriage work before it falls apart completely.