Sex after Baby

Giving birth is such a painful experience that generally it’s said that women gets another life after child birth. So, having sex is the "last thing" which a woman can think of and than there is new born who will take all her time and energy. While one can have sex throughout pregnancy but the scenario is quite different after pregnancy. There are different factors which affect one’s sexual drive like hormonal changes, vaginal soreness and stitches and than labour itself is highly exhausting physically as well as emotionally.

How do we come to know when is the right time?

There is no right or wrong time; you can have sex when you think you are ready for it. Though, doctors advocate at least six weeks rest before you could make love. They are right on their place as the body needs time to heal. The cervix tissues are torn, bruised and strained and thus it needs few weeks to heal up. Some males think they can have sex the moment their wife comes back from the hospital. It’s entirely wrong.

Some couples do make love before the six week period but another’s make the move after two or three months. There are even some couples (quite a handful) who will wait for entire six months or may be a year before they have intercourse.

Sex has its own advantage; it releases hormonesdefine which help in the contraction of the vagina thus making it return to its normal state and make both partners have that physical and emotional intimacy which they will feel after making love. Just make sure you don’t get any infection.

What if I don’t want but my partner wants it?

Men generally don’t understand how traumatic experience birth giving is and few who had actually been present while childbirth sometimes feels so ashamed of seeing their partner in such pain that they avoid making love in future. While it’s just a phase which passes but still if such problem persists than consult councilor. Its your duty to talk to your partner and tell him about the physical discomfort you feel or not ready emotionally could be due to additional work pressure or less sexual drive, make him understand. Try to spend more time with him; usually couples don’t get much time to spend together due to baby. Holding hands or cooing lovable words into each others ears can make you feel closer to each other.

Will love making hurt?

After giving birth, either through natural way or C-section there is vagina soreness and stitches which needs time to heal. Than for the first three months the vagina is dry and tender so you need not rush into full intercourse. Take it slow. One step at a time will help; start with kissing, cuddling, fondling etc. If the problem is of vaginal dryness, than you can use extra lubricating gel or cream or slippery stuff. If you think you can’t handle ‘deep penetration’ they you can go for loveplay. Try to find positions which are better like you on the top or lying side by side facing each other. Talking and communicating with the partner will help as you will come to know what is comfortable and what not.

Why Oral Sex is to be avoided?

The most important thing is just like during pregnancy “Oral sex " or “Cunnilingus” is a big no-no for females, same is the case after childbirth too. It got two reasons

- One can induce infection into the vagina and womb

- Puffing air into the vagina (mostly accidentally) by the partner can lead to death of the female. A British newspaper cited an incident of a couple where the man forced his wife into oral sex the moment he got her back from hospital, he blew air into her and she died due to it.

What about contraceptives?

You can get pregnant very easily so, contraception is very important. Mothers who are breastfeeding or bottle feeding the baby can be again fertile in fifteen weeks time. Use condoms, gels or foams. Consult your doctor and ask for postnatal examination and seek some family planning method.

Will my having sex affect the baby?

This is a myth. It will not at all affect baby, but the thing is you should not get involved in your physical pleasure and ignore babies need. During first few months baby takes up all of your and your partners’ time. One is not able to get good sleep and the babies keep you two on toes. You can take the opportunity to indulge in sex when the baby is asleep.

What if I don’t feel like having sex?

As every individual is different so same is the case with their sexual drives. Than exhaustion is the second reason. You may or may not feel like having sex even after passage of certain time. Females usually get their desire back after two- three months but some holds back as they fear of getting pregnant again. Hormonal changes do affect. Consult a doctor if your libido doesn’t return.

There are other factors like stretchmarks, sagging tummy, changing breast size etc. Than their is postpartum depressiondefine, a women has to undergo so many changes and its ok if she takes some time to be her self again. In one of the interesting survey by Prima Baby magazine on 500 women it was found that couples used to have sex 10 times per month before pregnancy, 5 times a month during pregnancy and only 4 times a month after baby is born. Be patient and communicate freely and if still face problem consult GP.