What to do if your Child is a Bully?

No child is born bully. Somewhere down the life’s journey, a child starts to torment and oppress others. While it can be very difficult to pinpoint the reason behind such conduct, it is imperative to take corrective action to stop such behavior.

A Bully may be a shy person or an outgoing person; he may be brilliant in class or may be struggling in academics. So, if you have heard those dreaded words about your child from the teacher or the neighbor, please act fast.

Researchers are at a loss when it comes to ascertaining the link between bullies and certain other behaviors of the child.

However, if unbridled, bullying can have somber life-altering repercussions. Be approachable, have a heart to heart communication, use carrot and stick approach and help your little one get back on track. Here’s how:

Accept the problem: The first step towards a solution is to accept that the problem exists. Having done that, explore the various possible solutions to the menace. Nothing will be worked out if you stay mum and do nothing about it.

Be an approachable parent: Talk to your child. Step into his shoes and discuss the problem from the child’s perspective. Open the channels of communications and get involved in what your child does. The tone of conversation has to be non-threatening and the child should consider you a friend.

Be inquisitive: Probe, inquire and show curiosity. Ask a lot of questions about the subject. Why does he bully the other child? Is there anything he dislikes about the other child? Does anybody join him in bullying? This will let the ‘cat out of the bag’ and your child will speak his heart out.

Meet whosoever your child meets: Meet your child’s friends, teachers, mentors, children whom he meets in the neighborhood park et al. You will probably get more answers and a new dimension to the whole story.

Share experiences: Talk to your child about your own experiences on the subject. If you were ever a bully or if you were bullied at any point in time of your life, do let your child know about that. Passing on your own experiences will shake your child’s view on bullying.

Never demean: It is understandable that you don’t want your child to be a bully. Nobody wants it to be like that. Never ever indulge in a role play wherein you jeer at and disparage your child. This can prove counterproductive.

Be a role model: Children tend to learn what they see. Reduce violent behavior in the house. Switch off the television when violence is being aired. Keep an eye on your own conduct.

Preach constructive deeds: Strengthen kind, sympathetic and compassionate behavior in your child. Teach compassion and provide openings for collaboration. Let your child take care of a petdefine, let him go to places which inculcate feeling of harmony, hone his talents and encourage teamwork and companionship.

Punishment as a last resort: If the bullying actions persist after all your efforts, don’t be scared of punishing your child. Put in plain simple words that he is not allowed to watch television or play video games till he learns to respect others.

Seek professional help, if needed: Things may, sometimes come to such a pass that professional help is needed. If this be the case, don’t hesitate to seek such help.